Horror Movie Essentials

Today's post is going to be a little different, because the lovely Alex over at Man Crates Gifts for Men has asked if I would do a post on what I would like in a Horror Movie Survival Crate. Man Crates are like a bigger burlier version of Glossybox, Birchbox, Geekbox... you get the idea. They're packed full of awesome 'manly' themed stuff, so if you're in the US/Canada area, go check them out! :-)

I must admit this sounded really easy, until I actually sat down and tried to pull it all together... What do you mean it needs to fit in a crate!? The list I have needs to go into a cargo container!!!

Oh well... I've sat and narrowed it down to these. The list seemed to lean towards mass zombie invasion, but I've tried to make each one appeal to other horror themes.

1. The shoes, Daaaaarling!

No high heels, not even pretty ballet pumps. Going to go all out here and go with Lara Croft style boots. They'll need steel toe caps too, and perhaps a zip rather than damn laces (who even has time for those in today's world!?). Don't want to trip over them bad boys when I'm trying to outrun the zombies or escape the demon possessed house either.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="239" class=" "] Although these do look useful... and fashionable...[/caption]

Plus if all else fails I'm sure the smell of my boots after several days of non stop wear will drive away any suspecting axe murderer or zombie.

2. Herbs, Spices and Garlic!

I figured a whole rack of these would be good for summoning things and warding off the odd vampire or two. Plus the thought of facing bland and boring roadkill after we've been driven out into the middle of nowhere (not a McDonalds in sight!) is rather unappealing.

3. Someone Who Can Use a Sword (and also has a sword!). 

If anyone has seen the Walking Dead, then I'm thinking Michonne, the really cool lady who has attitude and wields a katana against hordes of zombies. I'd like them to be a bit less withdrawn and grumpy though, a cheerful upbeat attitude goes a long way in a horror film, unless it's the kind that is going to get on my nerves and make me want to shove them out the door as zombie bait.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="144"] Ninjas Wanted - Apply Within[/caption]

I came to the conclusion long ago that guns may be good for dealing with things from a distance, but they have too many opportunities to jam, run out of ammo and deal with things quietly.

4. A dynamo torch.

I've been torn between a battery torch and a dynamo torch. On one hand the batteries will run out one day, so go dynamo! On the other hand the only dynamo torches I have ever come across are all quite noisy... not good if I'm in stealth mode...

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="160" class=" "] Fun way to die no. 32: Torch quacks with every squeeze. Making attracting zombies and mass murderers 10x more fun! Quack Quack.[/caption]

5. An Armoured Vehicle.

I guess you can't really cram a huge car into a Man Crate, but perhaps a tiny model one instead? I want a huge armoured car of some sort that I can use to ram down zombies, murderers and monsters without them getting caught in the wheels or smashing through windows. It needs a sunroof too! So Michonne can lean out and chop zombies with her sword. ;-)

6. (Bonus Item) A Clean Pair of Undearwear.

I figured that personal hygiene is an issue in horror films. They never seem to wash (or even go to the loo for that matter...) and so a clean pair of underwear wouldn't go amiss. Especially if you're likely to have an accident at the thought of being munched on, chopped up or possessed.

If you guys were dumped in the middle of a horror film scenario, what things would you want to hand? (I would also love to know why!)

Is there anything you would have added to my list? :-)

<3 Thanks for Reading <3